Review: Lorelei and the Laser Eyes Makes You Feel Like the Smartest and Dumbest Person Alive

Picking up Lorelei and the Laser Eyes feels like taking a step into a cryptic past, when rumors of Polybius were flitting among arcade goers and a night of entertainment meant a crossword puzzle or two. Unique and addicting, Lorelei and the Laser Eyes provides a fun and rewarding experience for either a single person or group of gamers.

Like Lorelei and the Laser Eyes itself, the story does not immediately reveal itself to you. It takes a bit of time and sleuthing before the yarn starts to unravel. When the game starts, you know very little about your character, a smartly-dressed woman who looks like she’d fit right in a noir spy film. As you piece together clues from dialogue and readable items, you learn that an eccentric man invited you to a secluded hotel, which houses strange puzzles, art exhibits, magic shows, and plenty of mysteries. And a dog too, which you can pet.

The puzzles range between pleasantly easy and surprisingly difficult, but none of them feel like cop-outs. You truly have almost everything you need at your fingertips, or they’re a few steps away. Some of them are incredibly easy, such as one requiring basic knowledge of Roman numerals or our English alphabet. But then you’d encounter one that makes you stare at it, feeling like you’re rubbing every single brain cell you have and getting nothing in return.

I vividly remember realizing the solution to a puzzle as I was falling asleep and then shooting up, wide awake, just to turn on Lorelei and the Laser Eyes and rush to the location to input my answer. I was right, and that rush of serotonin was so strong that I continued to play until the sun was in the sky.

Part of the appeal lies in its more old school way of doing things. It brought me back to when I was a child, sitting in the waiting room of my piano teacher’s house and hunched over a book of riddles and whodunnits with a pen and notebook in hand. The Discord server I have for myself was full of pictures, notes, equations, and scribbles. I called on my roommate for help, as well as provided the puzzles without any context to my friends when I was stuck. Some of the puzzles prompted pretty lively discussion and I found it fascinating that this game, which can feel so isolating as you wander around the dreary hotel on your own, could bring so many people together without even being in my friends’ hands.

“Beautiful” might not be the first word that pops to mind when you see Lorelei and the Laser Eyes. Indeed, according to Simogo’s development blog, that wasn’t the goal. But there’s something gripping about the retro aesthetic. I loved how clean and crisp the black-and-white color scheme is, with everything easily visible despite the grainy filter and odd textures. When colors appear, they pop, and they’re so eerie against the dark backdrop that they really stick in your mind. For a game that seems to do so little with its appearance, its blend of its many inspirations make for a singularly unique experience.

This is one of those games that I’ll think about even after I finish it. As of the time of writing, I still have quite a few mysteries to uncover, as there are some puzzles that just well and truly stumped me. The world it presents is a cryptic one, reminding me of old conspiracy theories from before my time, but it keeps you coming back for more, hankering to pull back the curtains and unlock the doors to discover the secrets behind them.

Lorelei and the Laser Eyes will come out on the Nintendo Switch and Windows PC via Steam on May 16, 2024. Nintendo Switch version reviewed.